finding nathan- siddhi jairath

7th April 1944

“OPEN UP!” I heard, as the Nazi troops kicked our frail, wooden home door open. A soldier harshly grabbed my fathers arm and pulled him outside, forcing him into a van. I watched helplessly as tears streamed down my cheeks, it was all going so fast. Still, I crept upstairs towards the hidden attic built by my father incase of a similar emergency. I looked out the window from the hidden attic on the top floor of my creaky house and saw several muscular men in dull green and black army uniform, one holding a Nazi flag and others pounding and busting through the doors of my very neighbors: The Goldmanns, The Blaus, The Friedmans. I stood there, watching in terror. I watched them pound the door labeled Haddad, that was Nathan's door! My best friend, neighbor and classmate. He’s been a part of my life since the time I can remember, he was more like my brother, the most important person to me in the world. I bit my lip in horror as tears uncontrollably trickled down the side of my face. I heard sudden gunshots, three of them. Bang, Bang, Bang! Followed by throbbing screams. My hands started shaking uncontrollably.

About 20 gut-wrenching minutes of powerless, silent observing, I heard the revving of a vehicle as the vans full of people, my people, departed. I felt an aching urge to break down as the center of my chest beat with agony. It was silent. I relieved my clenched hand as the sadness overcame me, tears pouring down my eyes.

“Did you hear that?” I heard someone call out followed by the hustling of footsteps coming closer. I froze in absolute terror.

“shit.” I whispered to myself. I quietly rushed down the stairs and leapt towards the back door as I heard the unlatching of the front door, I tilted my head backwards catching a glimpse of the troops as they reached their arms towards me. Both were tall and muscular, I didn’t stand a chance in chase with them.

But I ran. Faster than ever. I knew I couldn’t stop. I ran towards the forest in the near distance, I almost felt the breath of one of them behind me, catching up to me with every passing second. I felt the fallen leaves crunch under my leather boots, the wind solidifying, hitting against my face as the dried tears on my cheek disappeared into thin air. I constantly changed my direction, from right to left, hoping to confuse or lose track of them. My legs aching, I could feel them giving up. The footsteps behind me of the raging soldiers became softer and softer until it was silent. I fell to the ground as my legs gave up, peering behind, dreading the sound of those footsteps again. They were gone. I looked around and saw nothing but colossal oak trees surrounding me, looking down at me, like they were mocking me. I heard whispers of the demeaning air around me as my eyesight went blurry, then it was black. Pitch-Black.

Same day, at Night

I woke up to the loud silence of the shadowy forest. I distinguished a minuscule speckle of dull moonlight peeking through the thick shrubbery of oak leaves above. The aggressive, cool wind mercilessly blew while igniting fires of shivering, each shiver piercing like icy spikes all over every inch of my body. Disoriented and agitated, I didn’t know where I was. I don’t remember what happened next. I blacked out.

8th April 1944 (Next day)

The merry tweeting of the birds around, softly flowing through the whistling air. The bright streaks of sunlight burnt through the shrubs above waking me up. I smelt the fresh air with the flourishing scent of flowers fluttering around. It was deadly peaceful. I noticed my lips tightening with dryness, I licked them tasting the salty tear residue reminding me of the day before. I noticed my foot tracks and began following them, soundlessly. 5-7 minutes later, I was finally out of the thick forest and began identifying my neighborhood in the distance. It looked empty, but I didn’t trust my eyes. I began lurking further.

Snap- A sudden cracking sound from beneath my foot. I froze. With no response or movement, I was convinced there was no one around. About 10 feet away from my home, I started sprinting, tears seeping out once again. It was all coming back. I started to move through the buildings; abandoned and out of the ordinary, it felt like another dimension. I recognized the almost empty, disarranged grocery store with sweltering soda spilled all over the floors, the cracked windows with every shard of glass whispering a frightful story. Rushing in, I grabbed anything edible I could find- Gummy bears, Bread and semi-expired milk, persistently stuffing my face with my mucky hands.

I noticed a sign glistening in the sun, it read ‘The Hannons’, I felt my stomach twist. Dropping everything, I ran towards the house. I noticed the shattered windows, putrid smell and wooden doors with slits through them. As I walked into the decaying house, I caught a glimpse of something vibrant red, crimson. I froze. I took a breath in and one step back, then, I turned my head towards the right side. There it was. Blood. Dripping from the walls, I saw blood surrounder with other body matter. Following the trace of blood and body matter, the repulsive smell only got worse, with every step, I felt my knees shake. There it was, the decomposing and decaying body of Leah- Nathan’s younger sister with gunshot wounds through her forehead and chest, the same gunshots I heard earlier. My hands started shaking, once again. I fell to my knees, tears surging out once again.

‘How could they be so ruthless? So reckless? What had we Jews done to deserve such treatment? The nazis were nothing less than the devil himself.’ I thought to myself.

I searched the house for Nathan, but was matched with no luck. If he wasn’t hiding here and wasn’t a lifeless corpse on the ground, he had to be part of the crowd forcefully captured and kidnapped using the terrorizing, white vans. That means, he could still be alive. I dashed back home and grabbed a dull blue backpack, the same one Nathan bought for me. I started missing his presence more than ever. I needed to find him, I needed him. In the backpack, I packed food from the abandoned grocery store- mint-flavored mentos, white bread, 2 packets of paprika crunchips and 3 bottles of mineral water.

I followed the tracks left by the white vans in the mud, minutes turned to hours, hours to days. The thought of finding and being with Nathon once again kept me going, I was dedicated to keep going.

10th April 1944 (2 days later)

It has been a while since I started my journey, I am out of food and water but I found streams and lakes to fill the empty water bottles with. I know I can’t stop. Sometimes, I count the steps to keep myself busy, but I end up forgetting the number eventually though. The tracks seem to stay the same, the pathway is being used again and again which implies that there are other people who may not be from my neighborhood.

Same day, At night

I made it. I noticed the gates, the sides illuminated with fire. I was afraid but the butterflies in my stomach from the thought of potentially meeting Nathan once again overtook the fear. I kept walking, closer and closer. Then, when the camp-looking area was close enough, the entrance read ‘auschwitz’. I noticed the disciplined soldiers guarding the front and corners of the camp as well as several others inside, all dressed in the same black and white striped clothes. The clothes were all frayed with holes inside, all the people looked weak and skinny with barely any flesh on their bones, it scared me. I crept closer towards the fence of the camp, as quietly as possible.

A sudden rotting or burning smell emerged in the air, coming from a nearby factory-like structure which emitted revolting-smelling gasses. I tried holding my breath to avoid throwing up but I choked on nauseating smell, coughing and choking. Before I knew it, someone grabbed and dragged me by my hair as I yelled. I had caught the attention of the guards around. They arrested me, as if I had committed a crime. I was stripped and given a change of the same striped clothes, they were worn out and damp. They harshly threw me inside a barrack-like structure with what seemed like hundreds of others. I asked around trying to figure out where I was, everyone was grumpy and raging, the atmosphere was heavy. It was starting to get dark as everyone started climbing into bunks inside the barracks. I climbed into one, it was cluttered and there wasn’t enough space, I was tired and hadn’t slept in days during the journey, my eyelids felt heavier than ever as they started to close.

“ELIJAH?” Yelled a familiar voice.

My heart stopped. I slowly opened my eyes. There he was, Nathan. His cute, scruffy hair and soulful eyes filled with hope stared down at me. I noticed the wounds and scars all over his arms and legs but he was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. I stared at him for a few seconds before breaking down with tears. I couldn’t believe it. I was finally with him again. I looked at him for a few seconds before getting up, gathering the courage. I looked him in the eye, swiftly gilded closer towards him and kissed him. I felt his soft lips against mine, I knew I wanted him to be with me forever. I couldn’t lose him.

“I-I’m sorry” I whispered

“You don’t know how long I’ve waited for that.” He replied with a comforting smile arched upon his face. I smiled back as I blushed.

“Do you know where we are? What is this place?” I asked him

“It’s hell. The Nazis force us to work in unbearable conditions, they torchure, hurt and treat us like absolute garbage and we can’t even retaliate. It’s a slow and painful death, we should try escaping, it’s worth the risk.” He replied. I nodded in agreement, he was right.

“Should we try tonight?” I asked with a devious smirk on my face.

He smiled back, “Let’s do it.”

About an hour later

We waited until everyone was asleep, it was dead silent. Then, with absolute caution, I got up and started walking towards the latch of the barrack, Nathan followed me.

Creeeaaaaakkk!

I pulled it open till there was a small slit with dull moonlight seeping through, big enough for us to slip out through. We were out of the barracks, the air reeked of the same burning smell, I asked Nathan, “What is that revolting smell?”

“I don’t know, it comes from that factory, no one knows what happens in there, they took the women and children there, no one’s seen them there.” he replied.

“Wait! Women and children, does that mean ammi would be there too?”

“I guess, I’m not sure though.”

“Let’s check it out!”

“Elijah, I’m not sure we should…”

“Come on!” I eagerly pushed, grabbing his arm and dragging him along.

We crept towards the factory, the dead soil crunched under our bare feet and the sharp stones stabbed, we couldn’t make a sound. The closer we got, the worse the smell was. I was eager to find my mother. ‘Oh what I would give to hug her once more!’ I thought to myself. About 10 feet away from the massive, terrifying-looking structure, we heard the sounds of drunk Nazis from a nearby shed, they seemed to be having the time of their lives. How could they live so freely when knowing about the sins they are committing, the mistreatment and the constant pain they are putting several thousands of people through?

We faced the rusting factory, it smelt similar to something, I couldn’t recognize where I’d smelt this before. A frightful feeling took over me, something terrible was about to happen…

“HEY! YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” Called out an officer in a Nazi army uniform. I watched in terror, my legs frozen, out of my control, they ran closer and grabbed a hold of the both of us, Nathan and I. We looked at each other, yelling, reaching out, helplessly. How did I let this happen? The army officers were clearly drunk and not in their proper senses. They dragged us into their shed, empty bottles of rum and tequila were everywhere, the atmosphere was damp and heavy, hard to breathe. I shaked with fear, wondering what they were going to do.

“What shall we do with these worthless pieces of trash? Let’s get creative boys.” said one of the soldiers followed by him aggressively spitting on my face, I looked at him, raging. I sat there, with my hands tied, Nathan in front of me, we looked at each other, terrified for what was next.

The soldiers pulled out a pair of pliers, “Who wants to go first, ey?”. He then violently pulled Nathan's hand out, forcing him to stay still, using the pliers he sadistically and fiercely clutched onto one of his nails, then peeled them off as Nathan yelled in agonizing pain. The soldiers surrounding us laughed brutally as they watched their fellow officer put Nathan through such vicious acts of violence. I watched, traumatized, sobbing my eyes out. This was all my fault and I was forced to watch, powerless. I watched as they finished pulling out the nails off of Nathan's fingers, blood oozing out of his nail beds, he cried in torment.

“Throw some lemon juice on there, it’ll give it a special kick! Haha!” laughed one of the devils. One dashed to grab some lemon juice as the rest drank more rum. Nathan looked at me, petrified. “NO! NO! PLEASE STOP, I’LL DO ANYTHING!” He begged. The soldiers mercilessly ignored his yells for help. The soldier was back with fresh lemons, he pierced one open and handed it to his colleague, “You do the honors!”

His friend grabbed the lemon with his mucky hands and an evil smirk stretched upon his face, they pressed the lemon above Nathan's fingers, it stinged, he yelled once again in excruciating pain.

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!” laughed the officer, “YOUR TURN!” he yelled, turning towards me. I started moving, side to side in an attempt to free myself from the chair. One of the soldiers held me down as another, tall and muscular one punched my nose, definitely breaking it, I heard my nose bone crack. I let out a blaring yell for help. They continues this torchore, with half of them hurting me and the other half torturing Nathan. Stabbing, slitting, piercing, they got as creative as possible. Took it all out on us. Once they were done, they tied us up again, we were both unable to move with several broken bones. They took us towards the factory-like structure, opened the door and tossed us in. I finally recognised the burnt, rotten smell, it was a similar smell from when I saw Leah, Nathan’s sister's body.

We heard the beeping of buttons outside as a massive amount of hot gasses cracked in through the vents. It smelt burnt, I could feel it burning my wounds as the air touched my skin, it pierced through my lungs with every inhale. Nathan and I looked into each other’s eyes. We said goodbye to each other, for this was the end.

After a journey of reaching here to save my best friend and love of my short-lived life, I couldn’t believe that I was going to be the reason for his death, I will never forgive myself. We were once again together, but trapped in the worst possible situation and it was all my fault.

As my breathing started to slow down, my eyelids felt heavier than ever, my eyes started to shut as I choked painfully on my own blood. I looked Nathan in the eyes and whispered, “May we meet again.” before it all went black. Pitch-Black.