'38921'- Siddhi Jairath

As I boarded the plane, I had a feeling. Not a great one. But just as usual, I ignored the red flags and nervously climbed the stairs leading towards the plane. “38921” I wrote on a piece of paper to ensure I didn’t forget my flight number. I walked towards my seat with my legs shaking, I could feel something bad was about to happen. As I got into my seat, I felt cold sweat almost like a block of ice melting down the side of my forehead, my eyes began to feel heavy as my head pushed back against the seat while I dozed off. A bit later, I woke up feeling a bit calmer. I decided to rinse my face to feel a bit refreshed. I got off my seat and slowly- with the support of the seats around, I walked towards the bathroom. The seats were full but weirdly everyone was looking right at me with their eyeballs widened in horror, they stared at me like I had horns growing out of my skull or like I had a tail. I kept walking though, what else could I have done? In the bathroom, I washed my face with the warm, gentle water, it enveloped me in a warm orb of sweet satisfaction like an infant in the comfort of her mother's loving embrace.

All of a sudden, the door swung open and banged my head, one hit and I was down on the ground screaming for help. Trembling, I stood up and looked up at myself in the cracked mirror as blood trickled down the side of my forehead. I fell back down in horror and began to crawl out of the claustrophobic bathroom. Once I was out, I felt the temperature rise. It was hot. Scorching hot.

I saw the other passengers, they were still glaring at me with their eyeballs extended. They all saw me, yet none got up to help. I screamed in pain “HELP!” and yet, none of them flinched. I gave up and began crawling further towards my seat, I felt the heat rising higher. I looked down, I felt as if I was sinking into the ground, The floor eating me up like quicksand. The heat had begun to melt the plane, I was horrified.

Kept crawling as it got hotter, the floor devouring me further. I was a few inches away from my seat, a few inches which felt like kilometers. Around me, I heard a chanting “38921! 38921! 38921!”. My eyes rolled around and I saw everyone around me glaring while repeating the same numbers with no reactions and no expressions. My eyes felt heavy, I had lost too much blood, they started to close with each blink becoming longer and my eyelids becoming heavier until they closed and I fell unconscious.

“Ma’am! Ma’am!” I heard as I felt a hand on my shoulder shaking me. I woke up and looked at the stranger's face. It was an air hostess wearing a clean white blouse and a crimson skirt with a matching tie. “Ma’am! Please fasten your seatbelt, we’re about to take off.” I got up and ran. Ran out the plane doors and down the staircase. I just couldn’t fly, I couldn’t. As I rushed out, I tripped on a wire, my heel ripping it in half. I didn’t care, I just ran, ran to safety. I heard them yell my name in worry, Soon those shouts became distant and gradually disappeared.

Later that day, I woke up clueless on a sofa at my mothers home, my hand clutching onto a crumpled piece of paper reading “38921”. The same paper I had written on before the flight. I got up, the news was on. I heard the phrase “Plane 38921” and looked right towards the television. That was my flight. Turns out that very flight crashed and burned to ashes with no survivors due to an engine failure. 327 people dead.

To this day, I still wonder about flight 38921. What if I had never ran out? What if I had never tripped and tore that wire? Was that wire the reason the engine failed? Did I kill 327 people? I still think about that plane and those faces still haunt me. I see them glaring at me in my dreams. And that number. That dreadful number that reminds me of my sins is embedded into my brain. 38921. 38921..